23 Comments
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kianna's avatar

yes! i totally agree, and this reminds me of a trend i've seen recently on IG with men calling just to tell their friends good night. it's supposed to be seen as a prank and a joke. i've noticed how often men are so adamantly against affectionate towards their male friends because it would be "gay" to do so. to me i seems childish, like something middle schoolers do, but it's definitely not, and it extends past just gen z men too.

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rewsnatcerroc's avatar

oh i absolutely love this series. cant wait to read more of them. i feel like we need to emphasise - and men need to remind their fellow men as well - that they are victims of patriarchy too. viewing and limiting men only from their traditional gender role lens is not progressive nor helpful in dismantling patriarchy. in addition, why tf we would root for war. thankyou for this piece!

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callistio's avatar

“why tf would we root for war” no literally 😭😭😭 i didn’t even think to mention this but there’s a whole other military propaganda angle we could take when talking about the conservative undertones of this trend. thank u so much for reading!! 🫶🫶

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rewsnatcerroc's avatar

big time! how military is pretty much a rich white men's toys and embodiment of peak toxic patriarchy and masculinity. and seriously, this is such a smart series and i hope it gains traction esp to young impressionable minds so they can stop 'joking' abt this

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Soparnik's avatar

Give war a chance.

Jokes aside, war in Ukraine had made western countries realise that tech alone won't win war, and that cannon fodder is still needed. European NATO countries are reintroducing conscription and there will be a massive cultural push of militarisation, and social shaming of men who refuse to serve.

Reality is that only way to defend against a threat of war is a threat of war.

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rewsnatcerroc's avatar

nobody is going to shame them because NOBODY wants war in the first place

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Soparnik's avatar

It was done during WW1, it was done during WW2, and as I said, countries in Europe are reintroducing conscription.

Plenty of people want war: people who will get power from it, who will get rich from it, people who enjoy the thrill of it, people who enjoy killing and warcrimes, and people who are just filled with the hate for the enemy.

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rewsnatcerroc's avatar

the fact that a group of people could profit from war and commodified them is already a problem. and they certainly does NOT represent 'plenty' or 'majority' because theyre the top 5%-10% of the whole population

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Soparnik's avatar

I am not saying it is the majority, but people do want war, if they didn't wars wouldn't happen.

They want it enough, or don't mind it enough to let it happen.

I am not saying it is good, but saying nobody wants war is wrong, and will lead you on a wrong path to preventing war.

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annee's avatar

so on point and intelligently said. i loved reading about your thought process and you really provoked me into thinking into it more.

and yes, language has impact! the same thing happened with the "girl math" thing, where women were ridiculing themselves into thoughtless beings who can't deal with money. i hate these kind of "trends".

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Evan's avatar

a great reminder that language and the way we interact online have a real impact on our perceptions of the world/other people🫡 shoutout to “girly” pink cocktails too

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Evička Ottati's avatar

Yes! I've always thought that in certain contexts, the "men used to go to war" thing is just hating on feminine interests. It can be funny as a joke, but when it's said in all seriousness— when referring to a man doing something that is typically considered feminine— how is that any different than women getting made fun of for having typical feminine interests? It's always bugged me. Women can't like girly things because it's cliche and immature, and men can't like girly things because they're girly and girls are dumb and wierd and weak. Saying "men used to go to war" when a guy is drinking something fruity and tells you he likes bubblegum pop music or getting manicures or WHATEVER is only adding fuel to the fire that is toxic masculinity. This was a beautifully written article btw! I don't think this is talked about enough, and you did a marvelous job at explaining your points ☺️🫶

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callistio's avatar

thank you so much for reading!! and yup, ridiculing men for being interested in stereotypically feminine things comes from the exact same place that ridiculing feminine women does; misogyny

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Tim Strong's avatar

this is fantastic. can't wait for more installments of this series!

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Iain M Norman's avatar

Thank you. Thought provoking writing. I struggle internally with the whole feminine and masculine traits thing.

Take one example, I really enjoy painting my nails. It’s aesthetically pleasing to my creative soul. But I would always remove before say, going in to the office. Did it once and it was all like are you now trans? Do you want to be a woman? No I’m happy being a man, but I like pretty things. I like colours and patterns and prints. I like lots of things people consider ‘feminine’ but why people can’t separate the whole traits thing from gender and sex at times really confuses me. I probs sound confused too. I did not plan to write all this and am not sure I’m gonna press the button.

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nini's avatar

i LOVE this and the way you think !!! i also really enjoy how you connect femininity to both women and men, understanding that it is a concept expressed in everyone. one of my favorite quotes throughout this was, “Feminine does not mean weak. Feminine does not mean less.”

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fenn's avatar

brilliantly articulated and on point as usual!!!

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callistio's avatar

tysm 💗💗💗

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Riker Rhodes's avatar

This might be my favorite post from you. Your outlook is so consistent with itself, and my respect with you just went up by 1000%. Honestly, I found this to be a very genuine and intelligent take and reinforcement of your own beliefs.

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callistio's avatar

tysm for reading i’m glad you enjoyed it!!

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Rose's avatar

so well put ♥️

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callistio's avatar

eeeee!!! tysm!!!!

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callistio's avatar

tysm for reading!! 💗💗💗

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