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trinity's avatar

i agree 100% that it’s not all men. but all women, have experienced emotional, physical, or verbal abuse from a man at one point in time. whether it was their father calling them a bitch for speaking their mind, or it was a boyfriend who left because they refused to have sex. it’s similar to how we always wear seatbelts, even if you don’t always get into a car crash. in fact, i have never gotten into one, but i still wear my seatbelt every time just in case. that’s the point, stay alert just in case. it’s not all men, but all women are victims to the patriarchy.

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callistio's avatar

agree 100%!! and even if not all men are directly violent towards women, all men benefit from the patriarchy. i think i’m speaking less to women who feel a need to be cautious when walking alone at night, for example, and more to women in truly truly believe that all men will abuse a woman at some point in their lives. we should 100% still remain careful and take precautions to protect ourselves from the abusive men that 100% exist, but we also shouldn’t be pushing the idea that it is in a man’s nature to be abusive, since men 100% have a say in whether or not they will abuse a woman

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callistio's avatar

i guess that is to say, the sentiment of “not all men” should not inform the way we carry ourselves in the real world. to protect ourselves fully, and when interacting with strangers, we unfortunately must assume that it is all men. however, i often see feminist discussion drift into “it is 100% a fact that all men in your life will hurt you, even if you think they love you,” which is unproductive when working towards women’s liberation for a number of reasons. one being the fact that it normalizes violence against women, when a woman is abuse by a man, it is less of a tragedy and more of a prophecy coming true. two being the fact that is alleviates men of accountability, by implying that abusing women if part of their nature in a similar way that the mantra “boys will be boys” does. and third is that i can 100% see this as a way to victim blame women by weaponizing this type of “feminism” against them. for instance, saying “this is why i will never trust a man” in response to a woman recounting her abuse. while it is valid to not trust men for whatever reason that may be (we are not required to be emotionally close to men if we do not wish to be), it also places the woman in a position where she has to take some of the blame for her situation, since she associated herself with a force that is inherently abusive. def wish i expanded more in this in what a published and i totally just wrote u another essay lmao 😭thank you so much for reading and commenting 🫶🫶🫶

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trinity's avatar

omgg of course, and i agree. this post heavily inspired an article i just wrote, and if it’s okay i want to quote you in it.

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callistio's avatar

omg i would love that!! feel free to send it to me i would love to read it as soon as it comes out!!!

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ramblingrose's avatar

this is so well put. like wow. wow wow wow

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